Where it all began
The journey of Parental Minds began 12 years ago when I received a call from my daughter’s school to tell me she had been self-harming. It was a term I had never heard before, and the caller had to explain its meaning. I remember retching over the toilet, knowing in that moment that my life would never be the same again.
My beautiful, kind, clever, talented, confident, humorous, caring, loving child was in deep pain, and I hadn’t seen it coming — not a single sign of how they were battling daily against the world. I had no understanding of what they were going through or any sense of what the future would hold for us.
The journey that followed was long — far too long for them. It involved multiple mental health interventions, A&E visits, hospital wards, inpatient stays for both children and adults, supported living, moments of hope, horses, and finally being heard through participation work with Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services (CAMHS). Later came EMDR, hypnotherapy, and eventually living independently. They still use the same, often misunderstood (in society’s eyes) coping strategies to manage their distress — but I now understand this is their way, their “go‑to”, their method of expressing pain. And I cling to the hope that it will never lead to something irreversible…
Throughout this entire journey, there was very little support for me as a parent. I began to wonder if other parents were going through similar experiences. I started talking to the professionals I’d met along the way and reached out to my local community. This led to the first Parent+ meeting in a small church hall — and 16 people turned up! Many came intending to volunteer and support others, but once in the room, they found strength simply by connecting with people who understood their experiences.
Parental Minds
Over the next two years, I continued running these groups quietly, eventually moving them online due to the challenges of COVID‑19. Word began to spread among professionals, who increasingly respected this unpaid but deeply meaningful role I had stepped into, and a thriving community began to form. With support from others, I set up Parental Minds Community Interest Company. Our vision was to create a space and a set of skills for anyone supporting the wellbeing of others — a place where their voices could be heard in the development of research and mental health services, and where we could share the skills we were developing with families, professionals, schools and businesses.
At first, I could only draw on my own experiences, but soon I was gathering insights from others and shaping these ‘gems’ into support guides to share with the Parental Minds Community. I found an incredible illustrator, Brittany, who helped bring these gems to life. She translated my ideas onto paper as beautiful images — always capturing exactly what I had envisioned.
Professionals then began reaching out, offering support. We used their expertise to check the safety of the guides and add professional commentary, reassuring caregivers that the guidance, though born from people’s experiences, was safe and endorsed.
Researchers also took an interest, eager to understand what we were doing — apparently in a “trailblazing” way, which still makes me smile. I felt I was simply filling a need with a practical, common‑sense approach. It amazed me that no one had done it before, because it felt so necessary and so obvious.
Alongside Approach
We have transitioned into a social enterprise, which means I can now draw a salary and pay our team of 10 staff, all while being supported by an incredible army of 70 volunteers. We continue to support parents and caregivers — now more than 1,300 people — through peer support, mentoring, counselling, skills workshops, and opportunities to participate in co‑production.
Today, we offer the Alongside Approach to anyone supporting the well-being of others — professionals, family members, school staff, or those in business settings.
The programme spans four days and takes a deep dive into our support guides (the manual is currently 160 pages). It encourages self‑compassion while sharing how to use the guides when supporting others.
As the Alongside Approach is delivered online, it’s easy to access. We cover:
- The Alongside Approach itself
- Exploring communication
- Managing emotions and problem‑solving
- Expressing emotions and self‑compassion
All the guides are “live,” continually reviewed and updated. Alongside Partners receive a hard‑copy manual, an online live version, two years of peer supervision, and open‑access support from their Alongside Facilitator.
Partners hold a two‑year licence, giving them the freedom to use the Alongside Approach in one‑to‑one or group work.
We also continue to provide skills workshops for caregivers, open to anyone supported by one of our Alongside Partners (listed on our website).
Feedback shows that 50% of people say the training meets their expectations — which may sound disappointing, until you realise the other 50% say it exceeds their expectations! We remain committed to sharing this approach, and all income is reinvested to support parents and caregivers without the restrictions of red tape or externally imposed outcomes.
I’ve come to realise that I write exactly as I speak — in a conversational way that caregivers and professionals tell me feels comforting and relatable. Attendees often tell us that the four days of the Alongside Approach feel less like training and more like an ongoing conversation. High praise indeed, and a testament to our commitment to hope, compassionate connection, and curiosity.
For more information about the Alongside Approach, please follow the link or email us at hello@parentalminds.org.uk for a chat.